How long must I wait?

God

How long must I wait on your promise? I have prayed for patience, hope, faith, for your perfect timing. How long do I wait for your answer to our prayers? When is too long? Have you given me the answer and I am just not willing to accept THAT answer. WE have held tightly to your promise, we have prayed together for the blessing of another child. We have waited as patiently as we possibly can, and still no baby. Are you trying to tell us our baby days are over? I have prayed for the desire to be taken from me if it isn't your will, but the desire still remains. I have my good days and my bad days. I have had friends complain to me that they are having a boy instead of a girl, or that they got pregnant and weren't wanting to have a child at all. Those friends don't understand the pain that their words bring to my soul. Can't they just appreciate that they are carrying a child that is a gift from God? What does it matter if they wanted a girl and got a boy instead. Doesn't God know what he is doing? Why would you question God's will? How can they say those things to me when they know how long we have tried, what we have been through, the pain we have endured? I know they don't get IT. They don't understand how this infertility feels, how much it hurts to want something so badly and not be able to have it. The uncertainty of our future. The not knowing is the worst part. If I knew that a yr from now I would be pregnant, it would make the next yr a little more endurable (is that even a word?). God, how long must we wait for a definite answer, something that would be so clear and undeniable? When will this uncertaintly end? When will this desire leave me? When will I be okay with it all? When God When?